I didn't write out a big entry this week, maybe in a couple of days, but I did have a wonderful week. I've been translating for a Physicians Assitant group from Madison (I'll probably work with them this next week too). This weekend I went over to Panajachel and hung out with them, and it was wonderful. One of them is a co-owner of coffee shops in Madison, and she got me super excited about opening a shop, so maybe that will happen in the near future. We also had some wonderful conversations about faith and church and the like, so that was really cool.
Peace.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
I was just listening to a sermon from last December by Rob Bell entitled "Calling All Peacemakers." I think I've probably blogged about this already, but I'm going to do it again.
First something unrelated, but this stuck out when I saw the scripture that he was using. He read Luke 19:41-42, I read on a little further and something stuck out to me that I don't think I've ever noticed. Here's the passage:
As [Jesus] approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace--but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and your children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you.
Does anything stand out there? Because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you.
It sounds to me like Jesus is saying "Hey! I'm here! How long have you been waiting for me? How did you not realize that I came. This is your punishment for not paying attention to me. Had you listened to me and followed me, things would turn out different. You wouldn't be overthrown by the Romans and your city wouldn't be destroyed." That seems really odd--what would Jesus have done had the Jews listened to him? How would things have turned out?
That's all, I don't really have anywhere to go with that, it just struck me as odd? Has anyone else ever thought about that?
OK, so this sermon I was listening to was actually part of a four part series (I've only heard the first three) entitled "Calling All Peacemakers." In the second part, Rob Bell uses a lot of statistics about poverty, US affluence, and war to make the point that there is a better way to fight against terrorism than to kill a bunch of people in Iraq and Afghanistan. (This is going to be a mixture of his thoughts, my interpretation of his thoughts, and my own thoughts--so I'd like to give him some credit, but he may not want you to think that he said some of the things that will be here.) One estimate on the cost of giving everyone in the world clean drinking water is $9 billion. An estimate on the cost to provide all women with reproductive health is $12 billion. In sub-Saharan Africa, 1 in 16 women dies in childbirth. In the US, it's 1 in 3700. Sounds to me like that $12 billion would be a pretty good investment. Being down here, I've seen people and villages that don't have running water, and none of the water down here is not safe to drink. People here have access to bottled water, but many people can't afford it. I would love to see everyone here have their own water filter...Anyone want to donate a few million dollars? I have friends working in a small village a few hours from here and everyone there has to boil all the water they use because they don't have access to safe drinking water (at least not at a reasonable cost due to the remoteness of the village). The US has spent something near 1 trillion dollars on the war. Think of everything that we could have done with that money. We could have given billions of people a better and safer standard of living, and if we were doing that, I don't think there would be too many people who would want to try to destroy our way of life or act out in terrorism. Or we could have done a lot towards developing alternative fuel and better public transportation, so that we wouldn't need to have influence in the Persian Gulf.
If you're interested in hearing these sermons they're available on the Mars Hill website (not sure exactly what it is...google Mars Hill Grand Rapids).
Anyway, lets start doing what we can do to change the way things are (how vague was that?). Let's vote for people that are aware of what's going on in the world and are committed to using the power of the US to better the world and make it a more peaceful place. Let's think about how we spend our money and who we're supporting with it. You vote with every dollar you spend. Start doing what you can do "with your own two hands."
Peace
First something unrelated, but this stuck out when I saw the scripture that he was using. He read Luke 19:41-42, I read on a little further and something stuck out to me that I don't think I've ever noticed. Here's the passage:
As [Jesus] approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace--but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and your children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you.
Does anything stand out there? Because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you.
It sounds to me like Jesus is saying "Hey! I'm here! How long have you been waiting for me? How did you not realize that I came. This is your punishment for not paying attention to me. Had you listened to me and followed me, things would turn out different. You wouldn't be overthrown by the Romans and your city wouldn't be destroyed." That seems really odd--what would Jesus have done had the Jews listened to him? How would things have turned out?
That's all, I don't really have anywhere to go with that, it just struck me as odd? Has anyone else ever thought about that?
OK, so this sermon I was listening to was actually part of a four part series (I've only heard the first three) entitled "Calling All Peacemakers." In the second part, Rob Bell uses a lot of statistics about poverty, US affluence, and war to make the point that there is a better way to fight against terrorism than to kill a bunch of people in Iraq and Afghanistan. (This is going to be a mixture of his thoughts, my interpretation of his thoughts, and my own thoughts--so I'd like to give him some credit, but he may not want you to think that he said some of the things that will be here.) One estimate on the cost of giving everyone in the world clean drinking water is $9 billion. An estimate on the cost to provide all women with reproductive health is $12 billion. In sub-Saharan Africa, 1 in 16 women dies in childbirth. In the US, it's 1 in 3700. Sounds to me like that $12 billion would be a pretty good investment. Being down here, I've seen people and villages that don't have running water, and none of the water down here is not safe to drink. People here have access to bottled water, but many people can't afford it. I would love to see everyone here have their own water filter...Anyone want to donate a few million dollars? I have friends working in a small village a few hours from here and everyone there has to boil all the water they use because they don't have access to safe drinking water (at least not at a reasonable cost due to the remoteness of the village). The US has spent something near 1 trillion dollars on the war. Think of everything that we could have done with that money. We could have given billions of people a better and safer standard of living, and if we were doing that, I don't think there would be too many people who would want to try to destroy our way of life or act out in terrorism. Or we could have done a lot towards developing alternative fuel and better public transportation, so that we wouldn't need to have influence in the Persian Gulf.
If you're interested in hearing these sermons they're available on the Mars Hill website (not sure exactly what it is...google Mars Hill Grand Rapids).
Anyway, lets start doing what we can do to change the way things are (how vague was that?). Let's vote for people that are aware of what's going on in the world and are committed to using the power of the US to better the world and make it a more peaceful place. Let's think about how we spend our money and who we're supporting with it. You vote with every dollar you spend. Start doing what you can do "with your own two hands."
Peace
Friday, May 18, 2007
hook me up
Hey,
If you've been reading this, please send me your blog address sometime...I haven't been staying on top of blogs down here, but I'd like to do a better job of that.
Peace.
If you've been reading this, please send me your blog address sometime...I haven't been staying on top of blogs down here, but I'd like to do a better job of that.
Peace.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Dostoevsky
3 posts! I stole this quote from the MHGS website...love it.
Beauty is not only a terrible thing, it is also a mysterious thing. There God and the Devil strive for mastery, and the battleground is the heart of men.
Beauty is not only a terrible thing, it is also a mysterious thing. There God and the Devil strive for mastery, and the battleground is the heart of men.
clarification
Big day...two posts!
My parents started reading this blog, and got a little worried about some things, so I'm going to try to clarify a little bit of what I've been saying.
I'm not convinced that one has to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in order to be saved. That doesn't mean that I am not a follower of Christ. I think that when people heard Jesus' message they didn't think about being saved from hell and getting into heaven. Try reading the new testament without any presuppositions about what it's saying about heaven and hell. I'm not even sure of a place where Scripture confirms that there is a place where it confirms that there is a place called hell where people will suffer eternally. Revelation talks about a place called "Hades"-this is where Jews believed everyone goes when they die. Revelation talks about death and Hades giving up the dead that are in them at the final judgement, and then death and Hades are cast into the lake of fire, which is the second death. Where does the idea come from that this second death isn't just a permanent cessation of being-that makes a lot more sense to me. Why would death and Hades (once empty) be cast into a place of permanent suffering? It makes more sense if they just cease to be. Revelation goes on to say that anyone whose name is not found written in the book of Life is cast into the Lake of Fire (the second death). This, along with several other references to some sort of judgement, make it pretty hard for me to be a universalist, but I still haven't found anything that flat out repudiates pluralism. My mom told me to read Romans, so I read it in the Message and the NIV, and I found myself leaning more toward universalism while I was reading it, which was the opposite of what she intended. Paul tells the Romans that all Israel will be saved. He also says "the result of one act of righteousness was justification for all men...through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous." There are other verses that make me lean toward univeralism too, but I don't see the need to write all of them here. Paul does say, "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe." Paul doesn't elaborate in this section on what we need to believe, and he doesn't make any exclusive claims as to this belief being the only way to be saved. I think we read that exclusivity into a lot of things...so if you find yourself disagreeing with what I've been saying, go do some reading in the New Testament and rather than looking for verses that prove your point, try to imagine that you have never been taught anything about your way being the only way.
I got a little off topic, but I was talking about how I don't believe that there will be a place of eternal suffering for those who don't believe in Christ. I also don't think that those who do believe in Christ will be spending the rest of eternity in heaven. Revelation talks about the creation of a new heaven and a new earth-I think those who God chooses to save will spend eternity on that new earth, and probably not in heaven.
What is salvation? I kind of started out with saying that most of Jesus followers weren't looking to be saved from hell and to get into heaven...what then was this message of Salvation that he came preaching? If Jesus had said "I'm going to get you out of hell and into heaven," I don't think it would have meant a lot to the Jews of that day. Jesus came to invite people to be part of his revolution, to join him in a new way of doing things that would set things back to the way they were supposed to be. In Romans 10 (the Message), Salvation is defined as "with your whole being you embrace God setting things right." The Message also uses this language in the gospels-Jesus calls people to be part of his setting things right, and to join in God's revolution. The NIV (and at times The Message) use the language of God's Kingdom come on earth, or the Kindgom of Heaven (in Matthew). In inviting people to be part of his Kingdom, Jesus was inviting people to take part in changing the way things are done on earth, he wasn't inviting them into heaven. Even in the Lord's prayer, Jesus teaches his disciples to pray for God's kingdom to come, and his will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven. In the Message, Eugene Peterson uses the words "set the world right. Do what's best, as above, so below." If the last two thousand years are any indication, the worlds not going to be set right without some serious intervention. We just keep making things worse (and a lot of Christians are part of making things worse, rather than making things right, like all Christians should be.) I think it's pretty likely that the world is going to see some pretty intense divine intervention (like the vision recorded in Revelation) in order to set things right, but I hope that we can at least start moving things in the right direction. Start taking care of this world (that's the first thing ever commanded in the Bible!), start living lives of love, start taking care of people, and changing the terrible conditions that so many people live in on this world.
My parents started reading this blog, and got a little worried about some things, so I'm going to try to clarify a little bit of what I've been saying.
I'm not convinced that one has to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in order to be saved. That doesn't mean that I am not a follower of Christ. I think that when people heard Jesus' message they didn't think about being saved from hell and getting into heaven. Try reading the new testament without any presuppositions about what it's saying about heaven and hell. I'm not even sure of a place where Scripture confirms that there is a place where it confirms that there is a place called hell where people will suffer eternally. Revelation talks about a place called "Hades"-this is where Jews believed everyone goes when they die. Revelation talks about death and Hades giving up the dead that are in them at the final judgement, and then death and Hades are cast into the lake of fire, which is the second death. Where does the idea come from that this second death isn't just a permanent cessation of being-that makes a lot more sense to me. Why would death and Hades (once empty) be cast into a place of permanent suffering? It makes more sense if they just cease to be. Revelation goes on to say that anyone whose name is not found written in the book of Life is cast into the Lake of Fire (the second death). This, along with several other references to some sort of judgement, make it pretty hard for me to be a universalist, but I still haven't found anything that flat out repudiates pluralism. My mom told me to read Romans, so I read it in the Message and the NIV, and I found myself leaning more toward universalism while I was reading it, which was the opposite of what she intended. Paul tells the Romans that all Israel will be saved. He also says "the result of one act of righteousness was justification for all men...through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous." There are other verses that make me lean toward univeralism too, but I don't see the need to write all of them here. Paul does say, "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe." Paul doesn't elaborate in this section on what we need to believe, and he doesn't make any exclusive claims as to this belief being the only way to be saved. I think we read that exclusivity into a lot of things...so if you find yourself disagreeing with what I've been saying, go do some reading in the New Testament and rather than looking for verses that prove your point, try to imagine that you have never been taught anything about your way being the only way.
I got a little off topic, but I was talking about how I don't believe that there will be a place of eternal suffering for those who don't believe in Christ. I also don't think that those who do believe in Christ will be spending the rest of eternity in heaven. Revelation talks about the creation of a new heaven and a new earth-I think those who God chooses to save will spend eternity on that new earth, and probably not in heaven.
What is salvation? I kind of started out with saying that most of Jesus followers weren't looking to be saved from hell and to get into heaven...what then was this message of Salvation that he came preaching? If Jesus had said "I'm going to get you out of hell and into heaven," I don't think it would have meant a lot to the Jews of that day. Jesus came to invite people to be part of his revolution, to join him in a new way of doing things that would set things back to the way they were supposed to be. In Romans 10 (the Message), Salvation is defined as "with your whole being you embrace God setting things right." The Message also uses this language in the gospels-Jesus calls people to be part of his setting things right, and to join in God's revolution. The NIV (and at times The Message) use the language of God's Kingdom come on earth, or the Kindgom of Heaven (in Matthew). In inviting people to be part of his Kingdom, Jesus was inviting people to take part in changing the way things are done on earth, he wasn't inviting them into heaven. Even in the Lord's prayer, Jesus teaches his disciples to pray for God's kingdom to come, and his will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven. In the Message, Eugene Peterson uses the words "set the world right. Do what's best, as above, so below." If the last two thousand years are any indication, the worlds not going to be set right without some serious intervention. We just keep making things worse (and a lot of Christians are part of making things worse, rather than making things right, like all Christians should be.) I think it's pretty likely that the world is going to see some pretty intense divine intervention (like the vision recorded in Revelation) in order to set things right, but I hope that we can at least start moving things in the right direction. Start taking care of this world (that's the first thing ever commanded in the Bible!), start living lives of love, start taking care of people, and changing the terrible conditions that so many people live in on this world.
change the world
I wrote this a few days ago...
I was listening to a Ben Harper song the other day that I think is a great reminder for all of us. It says:
I can change the world, with my own two hands.
Make a better place, with my own two hands.
Make a kinder place, with my own two hands.
I can make a peace on earth with my own two hands.
I can clean up the earth with my own two hands.
I can reach out to you, with my own two hands.
I'm gonna make it a brighter place
I'm gonna make it a safer place
I'm gonna help the human race
With my own two hands.
Sometimes we feel pretty helpless against the great problems and injustices that we face in this world, but we really can do something. Margaret Mead said,
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
I think these two quotes are actually talking about pretty different things, but they are both great things for us to think about, and very encouraging reminders. Ben Harper is talking about the small differences we can make in the world around us, and how we are capable of changing the world for someone by the little things we do. A great example of this would be the work that I was translating for last week of helping people learn to uses prostheses and learn to walk. We changed the world for the people who we were working with. Mead on the other hand is talking about major worldwide changes (I think). The world doesn't change itself, and we're not helpless when it comes to which direction the world is going to go. We have the power to change it if we are truly committed to a cause.
I've been thinking about what to do with my future, and I really don't know. I'm pretty certain that I want to go back to school, but I'm not sure if that's something I want to do soon, or whether I want to do some more international work first, or maybe start my coffee shop. I'm also not sure what I want to go back to school for. There are a lot of things that I enjoyed studying, and a lot of things that I would like to study more. Since I'm going to be around Michigan this fall filling in for my brother at my dad's warehouse, I think I'm going to try to take a few classes-and I think at least one of them is going to be in Psychology, but I'm not exactly sure yet-I need to look into it.
My problem isn't really that I don't know what I want to do, but that there are too many things I want to do, and I don't know how to do all of them or which to do first. Part of me says that I need to just take life as it comes and figure it out as I go, but to some extent I do need to make some plans, and there will come times when I will have to decide what to do next. I'm not worrying about it too much yet though. While I'm down here I'm just trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy it. I only have six weeks left, and only about four until my sister comes for a couple weeks. I don't think I'm going to be too ready to go home, but it will be good to see friends and family again. And to tell the truth, there are things I'm going to enjoy about my rich lifestyle back in the states...like driving, riding my motorcycle, and going out in the boat. It's hard, because the simple life that I think I should be living is very different from how I grew up. I always had everything I needed, and almost everything I wanted, and now I don't want to have so much, because if everyone lived that life we would deplete all the worlds resources in no time. That's not the only reason I want to live a more simple life of course, I don't want to live in luxury when so many people live in extreme poverty. Now, I know some pretty rich people who do great things to help those who are living in poverty, and who are very generous with their money, but we could always do more. For instance, if I was making $200,000 a year, I could give away half of that and still live a luxurious life, but why not give away 160k or 170k of it and live a very simple life? I could still afford a better life than the majority of the world. --I'm not really sure where this came from, I certainly wasn't planning on writing about it, but it is something that struggle with a lot. So far I haven't had to worry about it too much because I don't actually own too many things, I've been living off my parents, but I won't be doing that too much longer, and then I'm going to have to start dealing with this in a lot more real way.
I haven't been doing much reading lately--slowly working my way through Walden and a few short stories by Tolstoy. I don't have much to share from my readings other than that Thoreau makes me want to go build a simple little cabin in the woods. There was a great quote that I shared with Becky and she asked me to post it, so here it is:
There are nowadays professors of philosophy, but not philosophers. Yet it is admirable to profess because it was once admirable to live. To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust. It is to solve some of the problems of life, not only theoretically, but practically.
I'm sure there are some other great quotes, but I haven't been doing much underlining, so I don't have more to share right now, I'll try to work on that.
So I'm almost out of books. There are only a few more that I own, and I plan to read most (if not all) of those by the time I leave Guate. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'll be looking for a bunch of books to buy when I get home, so share with me what some of your favorites are, and maybe I'll even order a couple so they'll be waiting for me at home.
That's all for today...have a wonderful week.
Peace and Love.
I was listening to a Ben Harper song the other day that I think is a great reminder for all of us. It says:
I can change the world, with my own two hands.
Make a better place, with my own two hands.
Make a kinder place, with my own two hands.
I can make a peace on earth with my own two hands.
I can clean up the earth with my own two hands.
I can reach out to you, with my own two hands.
I'm gonna make it a brighter place
I'm gonna make it a safer place
I'm gonna help the human race
With my own two hands.
Sometimes we feel pretty helpless against the great problems and injustices that we face in this world, but we really can do something. Margaret Mead said,
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
I think these two quotes are actually talking about pretty different things, but they are both great things for us to think about, and very encouraging reminders. Ben Harper is talking about the small differences we can make in the world around us, and how we are capable of changing the world for someone by the little things we do. A great example of this would be the work that I was translating for last week of helping people learn to uses prostheses and learn to walk. We changed the world for the people who we were working with. Mead on the other hand is talking about major worldwide changes (I think). The world doesn't change itself, and we're not helpless when it comes to which direction the world is going to go. We have the power to change it if we are truly committed to a cause.
I've been thinking about what to do with my future, and I really don't know. I'm pretty certain that I want to go back to school, but I'm not sure if that's something I want to do soon, or whether I want to do some more international work first, or maybe start my coffee shop. I'm also not sure what I want to go back to school for. There are a lot of things that I enjoyed studying, and a lot of things that I would like to study more. Since I'm going to be around Michigan this fall filling in for my brother at my dad's warehouse, I think I'm going to try to take a few classes-and I think at least one of them is going to be in Psychology, but I'm not exactly sure yet-I need to look into it.
My problem isn't really that I don't know what I want to do, but that there are too many things I want to do, and I don't know how to do all of them or which to do first. Part of me says that I need to just take life as it comes and figure it out as I go, but to some extent I do need to make some plans, and there will come times when I will have to decide what to do next. I'm not worrying about it too much yet though. While I'm down here I'm just trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy it. I only have six weeks left, and only about four until my sister comes for a couple weeks. I don't think I'm going to be too ready to go home, but it will be good to see friends and family again. And to tell the truth, there are things I'm going to enjoy about my rich lifestyle back in the states...like driving, riding my motorcycle, and going out in the boat. It's hard, because the simple life that I think I should be living is very different from how I grew up. I always had everything I needed, and almost everything I wanted, and now I don't want to have so much, because if everyone lived that life we would deplete all the worlds resources in no time. That's not the only reason I want to live a more simple life of course, I don't want to live in luxury when so many people live in extreme poverty. Now, I know some pretty rich people who do great things to help those who are living in poverty, and who are very generous with their money, but we could always do more. For instance, if I was making $200,000 a year, I could give away half of that and still live a luxurious life, but why not give away 160k or 170k of it and live a very simple life? I could still afford a better life than the majority of the world. --I'm not really sure where this came from, I certainly wasn't planning on writing about it, but it is something that struggle with a lot. So far I haven't had to worry about it too much because I don't actually own too many things, I've been living off my parents, but I won't be doing that too much longer, and then I'm going to have to start dealing with this in a lot more real way.
I haven't been doing much reading lately--slowly working my way through Walden and a few short stories by Tolstoy. I don't have much to share from my readings other than that Thoreau makes me want to go build a simple little cabin in the woods. There was a great quote that I shared with Becky and she asked me to post it, so here it is:
There are nowadays professors of philosophy, but not philosophers. Yet it is admirable to profess because it was once admirable to live. To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust. It is to solve some of the problems of life, not only theoretically, but practically.
I'm sure there are some other great quotes, but I haven't been doing much underlining, so I don't have more to share right now, I'll try to work on that.
So I'm almost out of books. There are only a few more that I own, and I plan to read most (if not all) of those by the time I leave Guate. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'll be looking for a bunch of books to buy when I get home, so share with me what some of your favorites are, and maybe I'll even order a couple so they'll be waiting for me at home.
That's all for today...have a wonderful week.
Peace and Love.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
So, I wrote this Tuesday, but then my card reader broke, and it's been a crazy week, so I'll post this now, and there's probably more to come this weekend.
Only 7 weeks left--time's passing pretty quickly.
Thanks to those of you who leave comments/send me e-mails about what I write here. It's nice to know that people read this and think about what I write here--even when what I write isn't all that interesting. I appreciate it.
This week there are 3 physical therapists here from the states. They're fitting people with prostheses that they brought down. (They were made by a prosthetis (sp?) who was here a couple of weeks ago.) They are doing exercises with those people to teach them to use their artificial limbs. Today went really well, and tomorrow we're going to be working with some kids who have difficulty walking. I'm translating for them this week, so that's pretty exciting. Usually groups just grab a couple of volunteers to take with them each day to translate, but apparently these people are really special, because I was assigned to them before they even got here, and I had to be here to meet them Saturday when they got in. Sunday I took them to Santiago and Panajachel (two of the more touristy towns on the lake) and had a pretty good time hanging out with them.
I've been doing a fair amount of medical translating lately, and it's been really enjoyable--and really challenging. I'm learning a lot of medical Spanish and a lot about medicine in general. It's always fun when I get words that I don't even know in English and I have to try translate them. I've never really had much interest in medicine, but now I find it fascinating. I don't think I'd go to med school or do anything with it, but I've done a lot of things in my life that I wouldn't have expected. I'm really glad to have great opportunities to keep learning, and I hope I always have that desire and I'm always doing something to keep learning. That was a really poorly written sentence, but you know what I mean.
The rainy season has started--time to start carrying an umbrella everywhere :)
Unfortunately not all the groups that come down are as great as some of the medical groups I've had the opportunity to work with. I wish everyone could go through some sort of cross cultural orientation before they came down here so that they what not to do. When kids come up to me and ask me for a dollar I know that someone has been giving dollars to kids...not such a great idea. There was one group here that was doing consults in some of the villages around here-which can be a pretty good thing, and some of the groups do a good job with it, but this group did not. It was a group of nursing students that comes every year, and every year they pass out clothes and toys to all the people that come. One problem with this is that people will come to get clothes and toys and not because they need medical help, so they are getting drugs that they don't need to be taking. When I went out with this group to translate, we had a couple people keep coming back with different symptoms, just so that they could get more clothes. Another problem is that it encourages people to wear "American" clothes rather than the traditional clothes that a lot of them still wear. Another problem is that it creates and reinforces the idea that "Americans" come down here to give things away, and that is not the best way to help the people here. If you want to give donations (which can be helpful if given in a good way), they should never go straight from your hands to the hands of the people who are going to use them. Some local person should be involved as an intermediary. Someone who can give the things out after the gringos leave, so people don't become dependent on gifts from gringos. And donations should never be given out in a medical setting-it gets in the way of doing good medicine. There's probably even more problems than these, but I'll stop venting for a little while and see if I can write about something a little more interesting.
I haven't done a lot of reading lately, and I haven't written in my journal in quite a while. I need to do more of those. I learn a lot from reading, and I'm realizing I can teach myself when I stop to reflect and write about what I'm experiencing and thinking. (I also learn a lot when people interact with these things, but there's not always people here who I feel like I can have good conversations with.
When I was volunteering in Mexico a couple weeks ago, a couple of people asked me how I was saved. I may have already blogged about this some, but that question really frustrates me, and if I end up back in Mexico this summer, I'm going to be honest with people when they ask me that question. I'm going to tell them that I don't think salvation is all about whether someone goes to heaven or hell. I'll also tell them that salvation isn't mainly an individual thing. Salvation is for communities and for nations. It's really a message for all of the human race, something that's better the more people embrace it, and not because it means one more person is going to heaven. The more people that embrace the true message of Christ, the more people are working to bring the kingdom (or as McLaren suggests may be a more appropriate term-revolution) of God about on the earth. It means more people in on bringing social justice and fair treatment to everyone. It means undoing the wrong that we have done, and the wrong that those who have gone before us have done. No one should be working for a dollar a day. No one should be starving to death, especially when so many people are dying from causes linked to eating too much food. No one should have to work in sweatshop conditions so that I can have a cheaper shirt to add to the dozens I have already. No one should have live in a cardboard house when so many people are living in mansions and have more than one house. So many things in our lives are so contrary to the revolution that Christ started, and yet we claim to follow him. I could go on for a while about related things, but I'm going to leave you with these words from Nickelback (interestingly enough) that I think speak to what I've been talking about.
"If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride,
Then we'd see the day when nobody died.
And as we lie beneath the stars
and realize how small we are,
If they could love like you and me,
imagine what the world could be"
Love.
Only 7 weeks left--time's passing pretty quickly.
Thanks to those of you who leave comments/send me e-mails about what I write here. It's nice to know that people read this and think about what I write here--even when what I write isn't all that interesting. I appreciate it.
This week there are 3 physical therapists here from the states. They're fitting people with prostheses that they brought down. (They were made by a prosthetis (sp?) who was here a couple of weeks ago.) They are doing exercises with those people to teach them to use their artificial limbs. Today went really well, and tomorrow we're going to be working with some kids who have difficulty walking. I'm translating for them this week, so that's pretty exciting. Usually groups just grab a couple of volunteers to take with them each day to translate, but apparently these people are really special, because I was assigned to them before they even got here, and I had to be here to meet them Saturday when they got in. Sunday I took them to Santiago and Panajachel (two of the more touristy towns on the lake) and had a pretty good time hanging out with them.
I've been doing a fair amount of medical translating lately, and it's been really enjoyable--and really challenging. I'm learning a lot of medical Spanish and a lot about medicine in general. It's always fun when I get words that I don't even know in English and I have to try translate them. I've never really had much interest in medicine, but now I find it fascinating. I don't think I'd go to med school or do anything with it, but I've done a lot of things in my life that I wouldn't have expected. I'm really glad to have great opportunities to keep learning, and I hope I always have that desire and I'm always doing something to keep learning. That was a really poorly written sentence, but you know what I mean.
The rainy season has started--time to start carrying an umbrella everywhere :)
Unfortunately not all the groups that come down are as great as some of the medical groups I've had the opportunity to work with. I wish everyone could go through some sort of cross cultural orientation before they came down here so that they what not to do. When kids come up to me and ask me for a dollar I know that someone has been giving dollars to kids...not such a great idea. There was one group here that was doing consults in some of the villages around here-which can be a pretty good thing, and some of the groups do a good job with it, but this group did not. It was a group of nursing students that comes every year, and every year they pass out clothes and toys to all the people that come. One problem with this is that people will come to get clothes and toys and not because they need medical help, so they are getting drugs that they don't need to be taking. When I went out with this group to translate, we had a couple people keep coming back with different symptoms, just so that they could get more clothes. Another problem is that it encourages people to wear "American" clothes rather than the traditional clothes that a lot of them still wear. Another problem is that it creates and reinforces the idea that "Americans" come down here to give things away, and that is not the best way to help the people here. If you want to give donations (which can be helpful if given in a good way), they should never go straight from your hands to the hands of the people who are going to use them. Some local person should be involved as an intermediary. Someone who can give the things out after the gringos leave, so people don't become dependent on gifts from gringos. And donations should never be given out in a medical setting-it gets in the way of doing good medicine. There's probably even more problems than these, but I'll stop venting for a little while and see if I can write about something a little more interesting.
I haven't done a lot of reading lately, and I haven't written in my journal in quite a while. I need to do more of those. I learn a lot from reading, and I'm realizing I can teach myself when I stop to reflect and write about what I'm experiencing and thinking. (I also learn a lot when people interact with these things, but there's not always people here who I feel like I can have good conversations with.
When I was volunteering in Mexico a couple weeks ago, a couple of people asked me how I was saved. I may have already blogged about this some, but that question really frustrates me, and if I end up back in Mexico this summer, I'm going to be honest with people when they ask me that question. I'm going to tell them that I don't think salvation is all about whether someone goes to heaven or hell. I'll also tell them that salvation isn't mainly an individual thing. Salvation is for communities and for nations. It's really a message for all of the human race, something that's better the more people embrace it, and not because it means one more person is going to heaven. The more people that embrace the true message of Christ, the more people are working to bring the kingdom (or as McLaren suggests may be a more appropriate term-revolution) of God about on the earth. It means more people in on bringing social justice and fair treatment to everyone. It means undoing the wrong that we have done, and the wrong that those who have gone before us have done. No one should be working for a dollar a day. No one should be starving to death, especially when so many people are dying from causes linked to eating too much food. No one should have to work in sweatshop conditions so that I can have a cheaper shirt to add to the dozens I have already. No one should have live in a cardboard house when so many people are living in mansions and have more than one house. So many things in our lives are so contrary to the revolution that Christ started, and yet we claim to follow him. I could go on for a while about related things, but I'm going to leave you with these words from Nickelback (interestingly enough) that I think speak to what I've been talking about.
"If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride,
Then we'd see the day when nobody died.
And as we lie beneath the stars
and realize how small we are,
If they could love like you and me,
imagine what the world could be"
Love.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
ummm....
01 May Blog
Happy May Day! (It's a lot bigger deal here than in the states-a lot of people don't work today.)
No deep thoughts on my mind right now, but I guess I'll start writing and see where I end up. I finished that McLaren book, and he has some great thoughts, but I can't put anymore quotes here because I lent the book out to someone. The next book in that series is called "The Last Word and the Word After That" and there was a small excerpt from it in the back of "The Story..." In the excerpt, the main character (who is a pastor) faces a college age daughter who is doubting her faith. She says something along the lines of "If Christianity is true, then most people are going to spend eternity in hell." Of course, there are more open versions of Christianity (such as pluralism or universalism), but most people hold a pretty exclusivist view, and I'm anxious to read the book and see how McLaren treats the issue. I deal with it through accepting some form of pluralism, but I'm not sure exactly how to define it yet. Actually, I'm not sure what I believe about heaven and hell, so usually when I'm trying to explain this part of my belief to someone it goes something like "If there is a heaven and a hell, then I believe that there are other ways to get to heaven than "accepting Jesus Christ as one's personal Lord and Savior" and being baptized in the name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit. This is obviously a different belief than I grew up with, and I know some of you are going to want to remind me that Jesus says "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me." Trust me, I haven't forgotten, and like I said, I'm still trying to work this out, but one potential way of dealing with this is through the possibility of Jesus saving people who don't accept him as lord and savior. I have a good friend who is a universalist, and while I'm not quite willing to go that far, I have some issues with the exclusivism that most people believe as well.
I was talking with a good friend the other night about faith and beliefs and how we often don't talk about what we believe with those who are close to us. Most Christians believe that everyone in their church believes very similarly to how they do, so they never talk about it, they never ask each other challenging questions, they just take it for granted that the people around them have the same beliefs that they do. I try to be pretty intentional about having these conversations. I think part of that is because I questioned a lot of the beliefs that I grew up with, and talking about things is a really good way for me to think about them and to process the thoughts that I do have.
I did quite a bit of reading this past week. I can't remember reading a sci-fi book since about fifth grade, but I read two this past week. They were recommended by a good friend who has made good recommendations in the past, so I brought them down with me. The two books are "Ender's Game" and "Speaker For the Dead", both by Orson Scott Card. They are both great books, and I thoroughly enjoyed both of them. I had a really hard time putting them down. I finished "Ender's Game" within 24 hours after starting it (I didn't get much sleep that night) and started "Speaker" immediately. Good stuff...and a little lighter reading than I've been doing lately, so that was a nice change, although they are quite thought-provoking for sci-fi stuff (I guess that's not really a fair statement, since I haven't read much sci-fi). Anyway, I'd definitely recommend them, although I'm not sure they make it into my top ten. Now I'm reading a couple of Tolstoy's short stories, and I've finally gotten back into "A People's History of the United States."
I'm going to open up now, and I'm not sure why. I guess because I want to talk about this with someone and it's easier to tell my problems to a computer than to a person. A computer can't judge me :) I'm not as happy as I could be here. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful place and there are wonderful things going on, and there are a lot of great people here...but I could be happier. I think I'm just feeling lonely. Some of that is probably due to the chain of events that led to me being here instead of in California. I've met some great people, but the best ones all leave after a day of two, and I haven't gotten really close to anyone who is here for longer than that. I've heard a few Christians say that we have to be completely content with our relationship with God, and that we shouldn't need anything more than that, but I honestly think that statement is shit. God didn't create us to live in isolation; he created us to live in community. We are "created" in the image of God, and God doesn't live an isolated life, he lives in the community of the Trinity. Anyway, I guess all I have to say is that I'm feeling lonely, and I can't do much about it. I guess that's not entirely true. I can invest in the lives of the people that live here, and try to make some good friends in town here. But at the same time I leave in two months and it will be very hard to keep in touch with the people I leave behind. The culture also makes it a little difficult. I think I understand now what it was like for the kids who came to my school as international students. I feel really at home in the culture here, and with the language as well (for the most part), I hate it that the people here view me as an outsider, especially when I go to other towns and I'm viewed as a tourist. I know, I technically still am a visitor and a tourist, but I certainly don't feel like it anymore. Anyway, that gap makes it hard for me to relate really well with the people here and to get to know them really well. I hope that my relationships with the people here are going to grow a lot in the next two months, but it's difficult.
Wow...this is probably the worst entry I've written in a while...all over the place and nothing terribly deep or profound, but hopefully you were able to take something from it, and hopefully you'll leave me a comment so that I know it :)
Peace.
Happy May Day! (It's a lot bigger deal here than in the states-a lot of people don't work today.)
No deep thoughts on my mind right now, but I guess I'll start writing and see where I end up. I finished that McLaren book, and he has some great thoughts, but I can't put anymore quotes here because I lent the book out to someone. The next book in that series is called "The Last Word and the Word After That" and there was a small excerpt from it in the back of "The Story..." In the excerpt, the main character (who is a pastor) faces a college age daughter who is doubting her faith. She says something along the lines of "If Christianity is true, then most people are going to spend eternity in hell." Of course, there are more open versions of Christianity (such as pluralism or universalism), but most people hold a pretty exclusivist view, and I'm anxious to read the book and see how McLaren treats the issue. I deal with it through accepting some form of pluralism, but I'm not sure exactly how to define it yet. Actually, I'm not sure what I believe about heaven and hell, so usually when I'm trying to explain this part of my belief to someone it goes something like "If there is a heaven and a hell, then I believe that there are other ways to get to heaven than "accepting Jesus Christ as one's personal Lord and Savior" and being baptized in the name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit. This is obviously a different belief than I grew up with, and I know some of you are going to want to remind me that Jesus says "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me." Trust me, I haven't forgotten, and like I said, I'm still trying to work this out, but one potential way of dealing with this is through the possibility of Jesus saving people who don't accept him as lord and savior. I have a good friend who is a universalist, and while I'm not quite willing to go that far, I have some issues with the exclusivism that most people believe as well.
I was talking with a good friend the other night about faith and beliefs and how we often don't talk about what we believe with those who are close to us. Most Christians believe that everyone in their church believes very similarly to how they do, so they never talk about it, they never ask each other challenging questions, they just take it for granted that the people around them have the same beliefs that they do. I try to be pretty intentional about having these conversations. I think part of that is because I questioned a lot of the beliefs that I grew up with, and talking about things is a really good way for me to think about them and to process the thoughts that I do have.
I did quite a bit of reading this past week. I can't remember reading a sci-fi book since about fifth grade, but I read two this past week. They were recommended by a good friend who has made good recommendations in the past, so I brought them down with me. The two books are "Ender's Game" and "Speaker For the Dead", both by Orson Scott Card. They are both great books, and I thoroughly enjoyed both of them. I had a really hard time putting them down. I finished "Ender's Game" within 24 hours after starting it (I didn't get much sleep that night) and started "Speaker" immediately. Good stuff...and a little lighter reading than I've been doing lately, so that was a nice change, although they are quite thought-provoking for sci-fi stuff (I guess that's not really a fair statement, since I haven't read much sci-fi). Anyway, I'd definitely recommend them, although I'm not sure they make it into my top ten. Now I'm reading a couple of Tolstoy's short stories, and I've finally gotten back into "A People's History of the United States."
I'm going to open up now, and I'm not sure why. I guess because I want to talk about this with someone and it's easier to tell my problems to a computer than to a person. A computer can't judge me :) I'm not as happy as I could be here. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful place and there are wonderful things going on, and there are a lot of great people here...but I could be happier. I think I'm just feeling lonely. Some of that is probably due to the chain of events that led to me being here instead of in California. I've met some great people, but the best ones all leave after a day of two, and I haven't gotten really close to anyone who is here for longer than that. I've heard a few Christians say that we have to be completely content with our relationship with God, and that we shouldn't need anything more than that, but I honestly think that statement is shit. God didn't create us to live in isolation; he created us to live in community. We are "created" in the image of God, and God doesn't live an isolated life, he lives in the community of the Trinity. Anyway, I guess all I have to say is that I'm feeling lonely, and I can't do much about it. I guess that's not entirely true. I can invest in the lives of the people that live here, and try to make some good friends in town here. But at the same time I leave in two months and it will be very hard to keep in touch with the people I leave behind. The culture also makes it a little difficult. I think I understand now what it was like for the kids who came to my school as international students. I feel really at home in the culture here, and with the language as well (for the most part), I hate it that the people here view me as an outsider, especially when I go to other towns and I'm viewed as a tourist. I know, I technically still am a visitor and a tourist, but I certainly don't feel like it anymore. Anyway, that gap makes it hard for me to relate really well with the people here and to get to know them really well. I hope that my relationships with the people here are going to grow a lot in the next two months, but it's difficult.
Wow...this is probably the worst entry I've written in a while...all over the place and nothing terribly deep or profound, but hopefully you were able to take something from it, and hopefully you'll leave me a comment so that I know it :)
Peace.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Panajachel
So I wrote out this big long entry this morning so I could copy and paste it when I came to use the internet, but I forgot the adapter I need to do that, so now I'm going to rewrite the whole thing (I think). Good thing I'm in Panajachel and internet is cheap and fast. Oh yeah, I'm here to hang out with the LASP group for a little while, but they don't get in for a few hours...
It's been a pretty good week, defnitely different than any I've had so far. There was a group of doctors here, and they were in different communities throughout the week seeing patients, and since they don't speak Spanish, I was translating for them. Monday I was the only on translating, because everyone else was gone, and it was crazy. They had three different stations, and a "pharmacy" where they were passing out medicine., and they all needed translation, so I was running from station to station, basically translating nonstop. Thankfully all of the patients spoke Spanish, so we didn't have to do any double translating. The rest of the week we had some patients that didn't know Spanish (only one of the Mayan languages, of which there are 22 (but only 3 in this area), so we had to do some double translating, but then there were other people translating from Spanish to English too, so it was more doable.
I've gone out a few times with soe of the family that I live with and tried to do some dancing, but I definitely need to practice. I did some salsa last night, but it was different than the salsa I had learned in the past. I should try to get them to give me dancing lessons in the house...they would probably love it, and I could use the help.
There was a group of 4 LASP students here this week, and one instructor, and now the whole group is coming to Pana (which is why I'm here). There are only 29 students this time! (It's usually around 50.)
I finally finished reading Brothers Karamazov. I would highly recommend it. The plot gets pretty intense near the end, and I couldn't put it down. Dostoevsky is a great writer. There is one scene where the "devil" visits one of the characters, and they have some fascinating conversations. The character is starting to lose his mind at this point, and isn't sure whether it's really a devil, or a figment of his imagination.
One of the LASP students asked me what I thought it meant to be blessed, and after talking about the beatitudes, and how they tell us that being blessed is far different from how we usually think about it, I hypothesized that the things we often see as curses, such as persecution or poverty or war, may be more like blessings; for these things make life more real, and they force us to be more real. It's easy for me to be down here helping people when it doesn't cause me any hardship. I'm not poor because I'm here, and no one is shooting at me or stabbing me or making threats on my life. I would like to think that I would still be here if those things were happening, but I don't know if I really would. If I was here anyway, it would show that it is really important to me, and it would make what I'm doing here a lot more real and meaningful. By contrast, the easy life I grew up with is in some ways a curse. A life like that makes it far to easy to be fake, to belive what you're told, and to not be real in what you do or believe. A day or two after that conversation, I came across the section in Brothers Karamazov where the devil vists, and the devil says "(People) suffer, of course...but then they live, they live a real life, not a fantastic one, for suffering is life. Without suffering what would be the pleasure of it? It would be transformed into an endless church service; it would be holy but tedious." I like this philosophy, but it raises issues with the Christian belief in an afterlife without suffering. This afterlife would be "holy, but tedious" Maybe it will be ok, because we suffer in this life, so if we still have memories of suffering when we move on to the next life, we would be able to enjoy life there.
After I finished that book, I started reading "The Story We Find Ourselves In" by Brian McLaren. It's pretty intriguing. At least it makes me feel ok that my beliefs aren't exactly the same as what I grew up with, with what I was told is the right way to believe. Interestingly enough, he also talks about what it means to be blessed. He brings in the story of Abraham, and how he was blessed "instrumentally"-so that he may be a blessing to others.Abraham's blessing is to be a blessing to others. I wish McLaren would have gone into this a little more than he did, but he didn't, so I will. God didn't tell Abraham that he would give him a lot of material possessions, or that he would never let him suffer. I have a feeling that Abraham got pretty excited whn God said " I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great". At this point, Abraham is probably thinking "All right! This sounds wonderful!", but I think his tone probabyl changed a little when God said " you will be a blessing...and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you". Part of Abraham probably didn't want to share this blessing, especially once he realized how hard it is to be a blessing to those around you, let alone to the rest of the earth. McLaren says " When religions assume that their adherents are chosen only to be blessed, and forget that they are blessed to be a blessing, they distort their identity, and they drift from God's calling for them. When they assume that they are blessed exclusively rather than instrumentally, when they see themselves as blessed to the exclusion of others rather than for the benefit of others, they become part of the problem instead of the solution." I agree, and I think that Christians do a really good job at preaching and believing an exclusive blessing. If someone wants to be blessed, we need to convert them, so that we can bring them into the circvle or blessing, because that cirlce can only contain Christians. We think that if we want to be really good Christians, we need to convert a lot of poeple so that more people can be blessed. We need to drastically change this mindset, and realize that non-Christians can be blessed too, and that it is really our responsibility as Christians to bless others.
I'm not through with the book yet, but I would recommend it so far. It will challenge you no matter what you believe, and I like the way he's setting up the story that we find ourselves in...even if I don't agree with each part of it.
We went cliff jumping today...the first time in almost 2 months that I've been able to go, and I only jumped once, because when I hit the water something happened to my ear (the same thing used to happen sometimes wakeboarding), and now I can't hear very well out of my right ear, and it's causing me a bit of discomfort. I'm just not having the best of luck with this cliff jumping thing.
I tried to watch the two meteor showers that are taking place right now, but it's hard to find a good dark place...sad day. We did have a big storm roll through yesterday, so that was cool.
That's all for this week.
Peace.
Be a blessing.
It's been a pretty good week, defnitely different than any I've had so far. There was a group of doctors here, and they were in different communities throughout the week seeing patients, and since they don't speak Spanish, I was translating for them. Monday I was the only on translating, because everyone else was gone, and it was crazy. They had three different stations, and a "pharmacy" where they were passing out medicine., and they all needed translation, so I was running from station to station, basically translating nonstop. Thankfully all of the patients spoke Spanish, so we didn't have to do any double translating. The rest of the week we had some patients that didn't know Spanish (only one of the Mayan languages, of which there are 22 (but only 3 in this area), so we had to do some double translating, but then there were other people translating from Spanish to English too, so it was more doable.
I've gone out a few times with soe of the family that I live with and tried to do some dancing, but I definitely need to practice. I did some salsa last night, but it was different than the salsa I had learned in the past. I should try to get them to give me dancing lessons in the house...they would probably love it, and I could use the help.
There was a group of 4 LASP students here this week, and one instructor, and now the whole group is coming to Pana (which is why I'm here). There are only 29 students this time! (It's usually around 50.)
I finally finished reading Brothers Karamazov. I would highly recommend it. The plot gets pretty intense near the end, and I couldn't put it down. Dostoevsky is a great writer. There is one scene where the "devil" visits one of the characters, and they have some fascinating conversations. The character is starting to lose his mind at this point, and isn't sure whether it's really a devil, or a figment of his imagination.
One of the LASP students asked me what I thought it meant to be blessed, and after talking about the beatitudes, and how they tell us that being blessed is far different from how we usually think about it, I hypothesized that the things we often see as curses, such as persecution or poverty or war, may be more like blessings; for these things make life more real, and they force us to be more real. It's easy for me to be down here helping people when it doesn't cause me any hardship. I'm not poor because I'm here, and no one is shooting at me or stabbing me or making threats on my life. I would like to think that I would still be here if those things were happening, but I don't know if I really would. If I was here anyway, it would show that it is really important to me, and it would make what I'm doing here a lot more real and meaningful. By contrast, the easy life I grew up with is in some ways a curse. A life like that makes it far to easy to be fake, to belive what you're told, and to not be real in what you do or believe. A day or two after that conversation, I came across the section in Brothers Karamazov where the devil vists, and the devil says "(People) suffer, of course...but then they live, they live a real life, not a fantastic one, for suffering is life. Without suffering what would be the pleasure of it? It would be transformed into an endless church service; it would be holy but tedious." I like this philosophy, but it raises issues with the Christian belief in an afterlife without suffering. This afterlife would be "holy, but tedious" Maybe it will be ok, because we suffer in this life, so if we still have memories of suffering when we move on to the next life, we would be able to enjoy life there.
After I finished that book, I started reading "The Story We Find Ourselves In" by Brian McLaren. It's pretty intriguing. At least it makes me feel ok that my beliefs aren't exactly the same as what I grew up with, with what I was told is the right way to believe. Interestingly enough, he also talks about what it means to be blessed. He brings in the story of Abraham, and how he was blessed "instrumentally"-so that he may be a blessing to others.Abraham's blessing is to be a blessing to others. I wish McLaren would have gone into this a little more than he did, but he didn't, so I will. God didn't tell Abraham that he would give him a lot of material possessions, or that he would never let him suffer. I have a feeling that Abraham got pretty excited whn God said " I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great". At this point, Abraham is probably thinking "All right! This sounds wonderful!", but I think his tone probabyl changed a little when God said " you will be a blessing...and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you". Part of Abraham probably didn't want to share this blessing, especially once he realized how hard it is to be a blessing to those around you, let alone to the rest of the earth. McLaren says " When religions assume that their adherents are chosen only to be blessed, and forget that they are blessed to be a blessing, they distort their identity, and they drift from God's calling for them. When they assume that they are blessed exclusively rather than instrumentally, when they see themselves as blessed to the exclusion of others rather than for the benefit of others, they become part of the problem instead of the solution." I agree, and I think that Christians do a really good job at preaching and believing an exclusive blessing. If someone wants to be blessed, we need to convert them, so that we can bring them into the circvle or blessing, because that cirlce can only contain Christians. We think that if we want to be really good Christians, we need to convert a lot of poeple so that more people can be blessed. We need to drastically change this mindset, and realize that non-Christians can be blessed too, and that it is really our responsibility as Christians to bless others.
I'm not through with the book yet, but I would recommend it so far. It will challenge you no matter what you believe, and I like the way he's setting up the story that we find ourselves in...even if I don't agree with each part of it.
We went cliff jumping today...the first time in almost 2 months that I've been able to go, and I only jumped once, because when I hit the water something happened to my ear (the same thing used to happen sometimes wakeboarding), and now I can't hear very well out of my right ear, and it's causing me a bit of discomfort. I'm just not having the best of luck with this cliff jumping thing.
I tried to watch the two meteor showers that are taking place right now, but it's hard to find a good dark place...sad day. We did have a big storm roll through yesterday, so that was cool.
That's all for this week.
Peace.
Be a blessing.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
back in Guate
Sorry it's been so long. I tried to update in Mexico, but for some reason I'm not able to post from my pocket pc, and now I lost the post that I wrote there. I don't feel like I have a lot to write about. I hardly read while I was in Mexico, so I'm still working on Brothers Karamazov, and it's still great, but I should be done soon.
Depending on who reads this, it might scare some people and surprise others. Being in Mexico was not an all around good experience. Parts of it were great, but other parts were not so good. Part of what wasn't good is that I don't feel comfortable being a spiritual leader to a bunch of high schoolers that come from prett conservative churches around the US, and that's supposed to be part of my role there. I still believe in God, and in Christ, but my ideas about salvation and what it means to follow Christ probably wouldn't match up so well with what World Servants believes and with what most of the people who go on World Servants trips believe. I didn't feel very comfortable there, I felt like I had to put a mask on every morning and not be who I really was. Maybe that means I need to change, or maybe it means that I shouldn't be working with that organization. Of course I'm always open to the idea that I need to change, because there will always be ways in which I should change, but sometimes it's tough to figure out in which ways I need to change.
I'm a much different person than I was when I worked with WS last. I think most of the changes that I've made in my life have been for the better. I'm more socially aware, more concerned with social justice, and generally more loving, although I'm still an ass sometimes.
On to a completely different subject: I was talking with a friend from California the other day, and he is planning to drive from Cali to the Southern end of Chile, starting in Januay or February. I told him I might just have to join him for that...we'll see.
I think I get more confused about what to do with my life with each day that goes by. Maybe I should apply to the Peace Corps or something to give myself couple more years to figure things out :). Maybe I'll never really figure it out, maybe I'll keep bouncing around from one thing to another my whole life. I think I'd be ok with that, as long as I spend enough time in one place to build good relationships that are going to last. I don't want to be starting all over with new friends every couple of years. Maybe someday I'll find myself doing something that I want to do for the rest of my life, but as of now I have no idea what that might be, though I think that if it were anything, it would probably be in Latin America...Vamos a ver.
Well, I think that's all for this week, I'll try to post again in about a week...until then post some comments so I know you're reading this and so that we can all take some of these ideas a little further.
Peace.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Thoughts from Guatemala
After writing this entry, I realized that it was far more information than most anyone would want to sit down and read at once, so I split it into three parts for your convenience.
Part I
I don't feel like I have a lot to write about this week. It's been a pretty relaxing week...or pretty boring, whichever way you want to look at it. My leg is taking a ridiculously long time to heal, so I've been doing a lot of sitting around, and when I do go anywhere, it's on crutches, which significantly limits the places I can go. I've been doing a fair amount of reading, not as much as I had been doing before though. I've been playing an obscene amount of cribbage. I'll probably get bored with it at some point, but not yet. I've also been teaching some English, so I've been able to feel somewhat useful.
I did the most intense translating that I have ever done this week. One of the women who works in the kitchen here lost her husband in the violence of the civil war, so she talked (with translation) for about an hour and forty five minutes. Her husband was trying to helped the poor people in the area, and someone told the army that he had been helping the guerillas, so he had to flee the area for his safety. They never heard anything from him, and he became one of the tens of thousands of "disappeared". (During the civil war, the army killed any one who they thought was collaborating with the guerillas. They often did this secretively, so that people would just disappear and no one would know for sure what had happened to them. She also talked about Mayan culture, and how this city has changed in the past forty-two years since Father Greg came down here. She's been working for the mission for forty-one years, and she has lot of stories about the civil war and what she and Father Greg did to help people here. There were two families in a town near here with a total of eleven children age ten and younger. The parents from both of these families were killed in front of their children, and the priest from that community felt the children were in great danger so he called and asked Father Greg if he could help. Chona (the woman who I was translating for) went to this town and picked up the eleven kids and brought them back to the orphanage that was in San Lucas at that time. To get back they had to go through three military checkpoints, and she had to convince the soldiers that all eleven kids were hers (even though she was only thirty years old at that time). They made it back safely, and all eleven kids grew up in the orphanage here, and now live in different parts of Guatemala.
Part II
I'm slowly working my way through "Simply Christian" by N.T. Wright, and he has some pretty good stuff to say. For instance "It seems that we humans were designed to find our purpose and meaning not simply in ourselves and our own inner lives, but in one another and in the shared meanings and purposes of a family, a street, a workplace, a town, a nation." I guess I've been doing a lot of thinking about what it is I'm going to do with my life...where I'm going to find my purpose. Same days I want to go back to grad school so I can be a college professor. Other days I want to move to Latin America permanently and set up an organization in an area where no one else is really doing anything to help, and do things like help people get a fair price for their coffee, and find ways for people to get paid decent wages and be self-sufficient. Other days I want to get my pilot's license and use that to do some sort of relief and development. Some days I feel like I should work for a while, save up a bunch of money, and come to here to live in solidarity with the people and start small projects as they see fit. And of course, I still have a strong spirit of adventure that wants to do things like travel to exotic places, sail around South America, climb mountains, surf, sky-dive, take a motorcycle trip (and a bike trip) across the US, and the like. I realize that unless I die young, I will have time to do more than one of these options, but I still don't know where to begin or what path to take. I want to do something that is fulfilling for me, but helps bring justice and relieve poverty in the process.
NT Wright also says "Nor is Christianity about Jesus offering, demonstrating, or even accomplishing a new route by which people can 'go to heaven when they die'....That isn't to deny that our present beliefs and actions have lasting consequences. Rather it's to deny both that Jesus made this the focus of his work and that this is the 'point' of Christianity." So then, what is it all about? In a later section on prayer, Wright says that the Lord's prayer "sums up what a lot of Christianity is all about. It's a prayer for bread, for meeting the needs of every day. And it's a prayer for rescue from evil....The prayer says: I want to be part of his kingdom movement....I want to be part of his bread-for-the-world agenda, for myself and for others." Later, Wright claims that the Bible has the power to change the world.
If we believe all of these things (and I do), then we need to start living differently. We need to stop putting so much emphasis on getting people into heaven, and instead focus on bringing heaven to people-to feeding them, clothing them, freeing them from oppression, and helping them to find value and meaning in life. If someone is poor or hungry or oppressed, they will be much more interested in a gospel that feeds them and brings them justice than in a gospel that offers no immediate hope. True, many people have found hope in a gospel which only promises them heaven in the future, but how much better if they could find hope in a gospel that offers them immediate hope. Jesus' message wasn't "Someday the kingdom of God will come and everything will be ok." Jesus' message was "The kingdom of God is here-I'm going to feed you and heal you and restore your place in this world. (In Jesus' day, if someone was sick, it was assumed to be a result of sin, either the sin of that person or of that person's ancestors. These people were excluded from being a normal part of society, because they were unclean.) Jesus didn't give hope for the future, but hope for the present, that things were beginning to change, and that his followers had amazing power to change the messed up way things were if they would follow his example. It is important to note that when Jesus fed crowds, he didn't do it on the condition that they would go to synagogue or follow him or anything like that. Jesus love (and the actions that come from it) are unconditional, and so should ours be. We shouldn't feed and clothe people only if they agree to go to church or listen to the Bible being read. We should meet there needs because they are needy, without placing any conditions on it.
Part III
The other book I've been working on is "The Brother's Karamazov" by Dostoevsky. I'm only about half way through, but at this point I would say the book is phenomenal. The way he writes makes the other books I have been reading look mediocre by comparison (and I've read some very good books lately). I believe Dostoevsky could write about anything and I would find it fascinating. I've underlined so many things in this book I don't even know where to begin writing about it. I think I'm just going to list some of my favorite quotes here, and maybe comment on some of them later.
"[Hell] is the suffering of being unable to love."
"At some thoughts one stands perplexed, especially at the sight of men's sin, and wonders whether one should use force or humble love. Always decide to use humble love. If you resolve that once for all, you may subdue the whole world. Loving humility is marvelously strong, the strongest of all things and there is nothing else like it."
"Brothers, have no fear of men's sin. Love a man even in his sin, for that is the semblance of Divine Love and is the highest love on earth. Love all of God's creation....If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things."
"Every time you pray, if your prayer is sincere, there will be feeling and meaning in it, which will give you fresh courage, and you will understand that prayer is an education."
"God have mercy on all of them, have all these unhappy and turbulent souls in Thy keeping, and set them in the right path. All ways are Thine. Save them according to Thy wisdom. Thou art love. Thou wilt send joy to all."
"The science of this world, which has become a great power, has, especially in the last century, analyzed everything divine handed down to us in the holy books. After this cruel analysis the learned of this world have nothing left that was sacred of old. But they have only analysed the parts and overlooked the whole, and indeed their blindness is marvelous. Yet the whole world stands steadfast before their eyes, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Has it not lasted nineteen centuries, is it not still a living, a moving power in the individual soul and in the masses of people? It is still as strong and living even in the souls of atheists, who have destroyed everything! For even those who have renounced Christianity and attack it, in their inmost being still follow the Christian ideal, for hitherto neither their subtlety nor the ardour of their hearts has been able to create a higher ideal of man and of virtue than the ideal given by Christ of old. When it has been attempted, the result has only been grotesque."
"Love [life], regardless of logic...and it's only then one will understand the meaning of it."
There's so much more, but I think that's all the quotes I'll put in here for now. Basically you just need to read this book. Not only is a great story (so far), but it is filled with challenging and thought provoking statements.
Part I
I don't feel like I have a lot to write about this week. It's been a pretty relaxing week...or pretty boring, whichever way you want to look at it. My leg is taking a ridiculously long time to heal, so I've been doing a lot of sitting around, and when I do go anywhere, it's on crutches, which significantly limits the places I can go. I've been doing a fair amount of reading, not as much as I had been doing before though. I've been playing an obscene amount of cribbage. I'll probably get bored with it at some point, but not yet. I've also been teaching some English, so I've been able to feel somewhat useful.
I did the most intense translating that I have ever done this week. One of the women who works in the kitchen here lost her husband in the violence of the civil war, so she talked (with translation) for about an hour and forty five minutes. Her husband was trying to helped the poor people in the area, and someone told the army that he had been helping the guerillas, so he had to flee the area for his safety. They never heard anything from him, and he became one of the tens of thousands of "disappeared". (During the civil war, the army killed any one who they thought was collaborating with the guerillas. They often did this secretively, so that people would just disappear and no one would know for sure what had happened to them. She also talked about Mayan culture, and how this city has changed in the past forty-two years since Father Greg came down here. She's been working for the mission for forty-one years, and she has lot of stories about the civil war and what she and Father Greg did to help people here. There were two families in a town near here with a total of eleven children age ten and younger. The parents from both of these families were killed in front of their children, and the priest from that community felt the children were in great danger so he called and asked Father Greg if he could help. Chona (the woman who I was translating for) went to this town and picked up the eleven kids and brought them back to the orphanage that was in San Lucas at that time. To get back they had to go through three military checkpoints, and she had to convince the soldiers that all eleven kids were hers (even though she was only thirty years old at that time). They made it back safely, and all eleven kids grew up in the orphanage here, and now live in different parts of Guatemala.
Part II
I'm slowly working my way through "Simply Christian" by N.T. Wright, and he has some pretty good stuff to say. For instance "It seems that we humans were designed to find our purpose and meaning not simply in ourselves and our own inner lives, but in one another and in the shared meanings and purposes of a family, a street, a workplace, a town, a nation." I guess I've been doing a lot of thinking about what it is I'm going to do with my life...where I'm going to find my purpose. Same days I want to go back to grad school so I can be a college professor. Other days I want to move to Latin America permanently and set up an organization in an area where no one else is really doing anything to help, and do things like help people get a fair price for their coffee, and find ways for people to get paid decent wages and be self-sufficient. Other days I want to get my pilot's license and use that to do some sort of relief and development. Some days I feel like I should work for a while, save up a bunch of money, and come to here to live in solidarity with the people and start small projects as they see fit. And of course, I still have a strong spirit of adventure that wants to do things like travel to exotic places, sail around South America, climb mountains, surf, sky-dive, take a motorcycle trip (and a bike trip) across the US, and the like. I realize that unless I die young, I will have time to do more than one of these options, but I still don't know where to begin or what path to take. I want to do something that is fulfilling for me, but helps bring justice and relieve poverty in the process.
NT Wright also says "Nor is Christianity about Jesus offering, demonstrating, or even accomplishing a new route by which people can 'go to heaven when they die'....That isn't to deny that our present beliefs and actions have lasting consequences. Rather it's to deny both that Jesus made this the focus of his work and that this is the 'point' of Christianity." So then, what is it all about? In a later section on prayer, Wright says that the Lord's prayer "sums up what a lot of Christianity is all about. It's a prayer for bread, for meeting the needs of every day. And it's a prayer for rescue from evil....The prayer says: I want to be part of his kingdom movement....I want to be part of his bread-for-the-world agenda, for myself and for others." Later, Wright claims that the Bible has the power to change the world.
If we believe all of these things (and I do), then we need to start living differently. We need to stop putting so much emphasis on getting people into heaven, and instead focus on bringing heaven to people-to feeding them, clothing them, freeing them from oppression, and helping them to find value and meaning in life. If someone is poor or hungry or oppressed, they will be much more interested in a gospel that feeds them and brings them justice than in a gospel that offers no immediate hope. True, many people have found hope in a gospel which only promises them heaven in the future, but how much better if they could find hope in a gospel that offers them immediate hope. Jesus' message wasn't "Someday the kingdom of God will come and everything will be ok." Jesus' message was "The kingdom of God is here-I'm going to feed you and heal you and restore your place in this world. (In Jesus' day, if someone was sick, it was assumed to be a result of sin, either the sin of that person or of that person's ancestors. These people were excluded from being a normal part of society, because they were unclean.) Jesus didn't give hope for the future, but hope for the present, that things were beginning to change, and that his followers had amazing power to change the messed up way things were if they would follow his example. It is important to note that when Jesus fed crowds, he didn't do it on the condition that they would go to synagogue or follow him or anything like that. Jesus love (and the actions that come from it) are unconditional, and so should ours be. We shouldn't feed and clothe people only if they agree to go to church or listen to the Bible being read. We should meet there needs because they are needy, without placing any conditions on it.
Part III
The other book I've been working on is "The Brother's Karamazov" by Dostoevsky. I'm only about half way through, but at this point I would say the book is phenomenal. The way he writes makes the other books I have been reading look mediocre by comparison (and I've read some very good books lately). I believe Dostoevsky could write about anything and I would find it fascinating. I've underlined so many things in this book I don't even know where to begin writing about it. I think I'm just going to list some of my favorite quotes here, and maybe comment on some of them later.
"[Hell] is the suffering of being unable to love."
"At some thoughts one stands perplexed, especially at the sight of men's sin, and wonders whether one should use force or humble love. Always decide to use humble love. If you resolve that once for all, you may subdue the whole world. Loving humility is marvelously strong, the strongest of all things and there is nothing else like it."
"Brothers, have no fear of men's sin. Love a man even in his sin, for that is the semblance of Divine Love and is the highest love on earth. Love all of God's creation....If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things."
"Every time you pray, if your prayer is sincere, there will be feeling and meaning in it, which will give you fresh courage, and you will understand that prayer is an education."
"God have mercy on all of them, have all these unhappy and turbulent souls in Thy keeping, and set them in the right path. All ways are Thine. Save them according to Thy wisdom. Thou art love. Thou wilt send joy to all."
"The science of this world, which has become a great power, has, especially in the last century, analyzed everything divine handed down to us in the holy books. After this cruel analysis the learned of this world have nothing left that was sacred of old. But they have only analysed the parts and overlooked the whole, and indeed their blindness is marvelous. Yet the whole world stands steadfast before their eyes, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Has it not lasted nineteen centuries, is it not still a living, a moving power in the individual soul and in the masses of people? It is still as strong and living even in the souls of atheists, who have destroyed everything! For even those who have renounced Christianity and attack it, in their inmost being still follow the Christian ideal, for hitherto neither their subtlety nor the ardour of their hearts has been able to create a higher ideal of man and of virtue than the ideal given by Christ of old. When it has been attempted, the result has only been grotesque."
"Love [life], regardless of logic...and it's only then one will understand the meaning of it."
There's so much more, but I think that's all the quotes I'll put in here for now. Basically you just need to read this book. Not only is a great story (so far), but it is filled with challenging and thought provoking statements.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I love Latin America
It's been a pretty uneventful week, and everything is going well. A whole bunch of groups came in yesterday, which can be good and bad...hopefully it´s a good experience for all of them. I need to come back to Latin America at some point and be in a setting where I'm interacting with locals more and not around gringos so much...we'll see what I can come up with.
I'm trying to decide whether it would be good for me to be in latin America full-time long-term, or if I should be in the states, making money, raising awareness, and supporting projects here....thoughts?
For those of you who don't know...I arrived in Guatemala about 3.5 weeks ago, and aside from a week I'm spending in mexico, I'll be here until the end of june. I'm in San Lucas Toliman (on Lake Atitlan), volunteering with the Catholic mission here, it's going pretty well so far...
I'm trying to decide whether it would be good for me to be in latin America full-time long-term, or if I should be in the states, making money, raising awareness, and supporting projects here....thoughts?
For those of you who don't know...I arrived in Guatemala about 3.5 weeks ago, and aside from a week I'm spending in mexico, I'll be here until the end of june. I'm in San Lucas Toliman (on Lake Atitlan), volunteering with the Catholic mission here, it's going pretty well so far...
Sunday, March 11, 2007
back at it...
It's been a while since I've written here, but I figured it would be a good way to share some of my thoughts and such in addition to the mass e-mails I'm sending. I'm going to try to do this about once a week, so we'll see how that goes.
This weekend I left San Lucas for a few days with some of the other volunteers, and we visited Panajachel and San Marcos, which are also on Lake Atitlan. It is super beautiful here, and if any of you want to get away for a little while, you should come down here to visit. You could work with the mission for a little while, and then we could do some sight-seeing type stuff, I guarantee that you'll enjoy it.
Things at the mission are going pretty well. Like any organization, it isn't perfect, but I think I'm learning a lot about how to do something like this on my own in the future. I've been considering that lately...moving to Central America and doing something that gives people decent pay and helps to better their lives a little.
One thing I've heard about since I've been here is that Coca-cola has apparently done some pretty bad things in Central and South America. I haven´t had the time to research it yet, but I would encourage you to do so and to start buying Pepsi products instead. I'll keep you posted when I learn more about this.
We had a group here from Loyala-Marimont (sp?) in L.A., and one of the girls asked me where my service emphasis comes from if I'm not Catholic. I didn't know that Protestants got such a bad rap...something for us to think about and keep working on I guess.
I've been doing a lot of reading here and I've finished "The Brothers K" by David James Duncan, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", and "A Prayer for Owen Meany", and I would recommend all of them. David James Duncan is simply amazing...Zen and the Art is a bit different, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and Owen Meany is a quality book as well, though it didn't quite live up to the buzz that I had heard about it-definitely still worth reading though.
That's all for today.
Until next week...
This weekend I left San Lucas for a few days with some of the other volunteers, and we visited Panajachel and San Marcos, which are also on Lake Atitlan. It is super beautiful here, and if any of you want to get away for a little while, you should come down here to visit. You could work with the mission for a little while, and then we could do some sight-seeing type stuff, I guarantee that you'll enjoy it.
Things at the mission are going pretty well. Like any organization, it isn't perfect, but I think I'm learning a lot about how to do something like this on my own in the future. I've been considering that lately...moving to Central America and doing something that gives people decent pay and helps to better their lives a little.
One thing I've heard about since I've been here is that Coca-cola has apparently done some pretty bad things in Central and South America. I haven´t had the time to research it yet, but I would encourage you to do so and to start buying Pepsi products instead. I'll keep you posted when I learn more about this.
We had a group here from Loyala-Marimont (sp?) in L.A., and one of the girls asked me where my service emphasis comes from if I'm not Catholic. I didn't know that Protestants got such a bad rap...something for us to think about and keep working on I guess.
I've been doing a lot of reading here and I've finished "The Brothers K" by David James Duncan, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", and "A Prayer for Owen Meany", and I would recommend all of them. David James Duncan is simply amazing...Zen and the Art is a bit different, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and Owen Meany is a quality book as well, though it didn't quite live up to the buzz that I had heard about it-definitely still worth reading though.
That's all for today.
Until next week...
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
home
I sat outside of Heemstra Hall on the still green grass, with blue sky overhead and the wind dragging leaves along the ground. The sounds of h* radio filled the air, and people talked, danced, and played air guitar on the stoop. I had just set down Hard Times and was finishing my clove. This place still feels like home, and it's good to be back. Everyone is loved here and is given a chance to invest in the lives of others. Everything is right with the world...almost.
There are too many times when I feel empty and alone. I lost my best friend and my girlfriend, I'm moving on, but there is still an emptiness in side of me. When will I learn to be content with myself and with God, and to not feel like I need someone else to fill a gap. There are times when I feel content, but I wonder if I will ever feel that way all the time. I have great friends, people who have opened their hearts to me and allowed me to become part of their lives, but they will never fill that hole. Many people say that God fills that hole when we have a strong relationship with him, but I'm not so sure. Has God put a hole inside us that only a life-long commitment to love and to cherish another human being can fulfill? I feel that way sometimes. I need someone to love me in that way, and even more, I need someone that I can love in that way. Someone I can make feel special, someone I can buy flowers for and read poetry with, or sit and talk with until all hours of the night-whether it's a deep theological discussion, or things so ordinary we won't even remember them in the morning.
I'm tired of looking. I'm tired of being in relationships that don't work out. I'm tired of hurting people. I'm tired of having my heart broken. I hate seeing friendships lost.
What is it about love? No matter how many times I get hurt, no matter how many times I screw up, I'm going to keep coming back for more, I'm going to keep trying to do it right. Someday I'll find her, and someday that hole will be filled. I'll be able to sit back and think...all is right with the world.
There are too many times when I feel empty and alone. I lost my best friend and my girlfriend, I'm moving on, but there is still an emptiness in side of me. When will I learn to be content with myself and with God, and to not feel like I need someone else to fill a gap. There are times when I feel content, but I wonder if I will ever feel that way all the time. I have great friends, people who have opened their hearts to me and allowed me to become part of their lives, but they will never fill that hole. Many people say that God fills that hole when we have a strong relationship with him, but I'm not so sure. Has God put a hole inside us that only a life-long commitment to love and to cherish another human being can fulfill? I feel that way sometimes. I need someone to love me in that way, and even more, I need someone that I can love in that way. Someone I can make feel special, someone I can buy flowers for and read poetry with, or sit and talk with until all hours of the night-whether it's a deep theological discussion, or things so ordinary we won't even remember them in the morning.
I'm tired of looking. I'm tired of being in relationships that don't work out. I'm tired of hurting people. I'm tired of having my heart broken. I hate seeing friendships lost.
What is it about love? No matter how many times I get hurt, no matter how many times I screw up, I'm going to keep coming back for more, I'm going to keep trying to do it right. Someday I'll find her, and someday that hole will be filled. I'll be able to sit back and think...all is right with the world.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
church
About a month and a half ago I started attending a new church called Mosaic Life. It kinda fits into the emerging church category, but it also seeks to be very diverse. I've been priviledged to meet with the pastor a couple of times for coffee, and it's been great to hear parts of his story and his dream. I'm enjoying this church and I'm looking forward to getting more involved. It's definitely a refreshing change. My parents church is going through a lot of crap right now because people are being stupid, and I'm honestly glad I'm not a part of it. I never really felt a part of that church anyway, as my family started going there shortly before I left for college, and I haven't been around much. The few people that I did know a little better there have all left, and it was time for me to move on too. I'll probably be posting more on this church and my experiences there and my conversations with the pastor. I still owe you more info on "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" as well...I'll have to steal it back from the sister I lent it too.
Grace and Peace.
Love conquers all.
Grace and Peace.
Love conquers all.
Friday, October 13, 2006
love
"People often don't know what they're talking about, but when they talk about love, they really don't know what they're talking about. The one sure thing you can say about love is that there isn't much you can say about it. Not that you shouldn't try. You can make analogies; love is like lots of things. One thing it's like is a trout stream: try to capture a trout stream with a dam and you get a lake, try to catch it in a bucket and you get a bucket of water; try to stick some under a microscope and you get a close-up look at some writing amorphous microcooties. A trout stream is only a trout stream when it's flowing between its own two banks, at its own pace, in its own sweet way.
Love is also like poison oak. You can't explain poison-oak itch to somebody who's never had it. And you can't explain love to somebody who's never had poison oak...ha! just kidding. What I started to say is that love really is like poison oak, it's highly contagious. Scratch it, it gets worse. Touch other people with it, they catch it too. What love is not like is your average fish; if love was a fish it would be suicidal: it wants to get caught.
I don't know where I caught it first. I suspect that maybe I had it all my life but didn't know it--maybe because of all that cool trout-water pouring over it, lulling it, numbing it, hypnotizing me into not feeling it. I suspect maybe everyone is covered with it, but most everybody doesn't know it for one reason or another. And I suspect that anybody who thinks they don't have it and thinks they don't want it had better be damned careful, because it can get you anytime, anyplace, anyhow, and you don't even know you have it till you find yourself scratching, and the more you scratch the more it itches, and the more it itches the more you like it till you're so infested with the stuff that you sit around writing crap like this when you could be out fishing! It's scary, that love! It can make you dangerous to yourself. It can change you. It can make you do strange things."
-David James Duncan The River Why
I recently finished reading this book and loved it. Pretty great stuff. It spoke to my heart about love and about God. It made me laugh a lot too:)
Love is also like poison oak. You can't explain poison-oak itch to somebody who's never had it. And you can't explain love to somebody who's never had poison oak...ha! just kidding. What I started to say is that love really is like poison oak, it's highly contagious. Scratch it, it gets worse. Touch other people with it, they catch it too. What love is not like is your average fish; if love was a fish it would be suicidal: it wants to get caught.
I don't know where I caught it first. I suspect that maybe I had it all my life but didn't know it--maybe because of all that cool trout-water pouring over it, lulling it, numbing it, hypnotizing me into not feeling it. I suspect maybe everyone is covered with it, but most everybody doesn't know it for one reason or another. And I suspect that anybody who thinks they don't have it and thinks they don't want it had better be damned careful, because it can get you anytime, anyplace, anyhow, and you don't even know you have it till you find yourself scratching, and the more you scratch the more it itches, and the more it itches the more you like it till you're so infested with the stuff that you sit around writing crap like this when you could be out fishing! It's scary, that love! It can make you dangerous to yourself. It can change you. It can make you do strange things."
-David James Duncan The River Why
I recently finished reading this book and loved it. Pretty great stuff. It spoke to my heart about love and about God. It made me laugh a lot too:)
Thursday, October 12, 2006
thankfulness
I don't tend to complain a lot (at least I don't think I do), but I'm not generally very content. I think about how I don't like my job, how I'm sick of living at home, how do I don't feel very useful, how my closest friends aren't around here, and how painful it is to learn the things God is teaching me some times.
But the truth is, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a job that pays well and gives me insurance, and it's pretty easy. I have a great family, and this is a wonderful opportunity to spend time with them and get to know the four most recent additions (and living at home is helping me save money). I have friends here to be thankful for, and I am friends with amazing people scattered all over the country that I have shared wonderful experiences with. I'm learning a lot, even though it's painful, and I'm becoming the man God wants me to be. I'm learning to love and to be loved.
I may not feel very useful right now, but instead of complaining I should do something about that. I think I need to find some sort of organization to volunteer with or something...
P.S. It snowed here...and it stuck on the ground :) Much to be thankful for...it's beautiful.
But the truth is, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a job that pays well and gives me insurance, and it's pretty easy. I have a great family, and this is a wonderful opportunity to spend time with them and get to know the four most recent additions (and living at home is helping me save money). I have friends here to be thankful for, and I am friends with amazing people scattered all over the country that I have shared wonderful experiences with. I'm learning a lot, even though it's painful, and I'm becoming the man God wants me to be. I'm learning to love and to be loved.
I may not feel very useful right now, but instead of complaining I should do something about that. I think I need to find some sort of organization to volunteer with or something...
P.S. It snowed here...and it stuck on the ground :) Much to be thankful for...it's beautiful.
Friday, October 06, 2006
self-worth
"Don't let anyone else define your self-worth, that's between you and God."
One of our theatre profs used to tell us this all the time. Good advice, but it's definitely hard to do. We let other people define our worth in so many ways.
One of our theatre profs used to tell us this all the time. Good advice, but it's definitely hard to do. We let other people define our worth in so many ways.
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